The Fun Thread

[Dylan Tryster]

Hi guys! This thread is for us to have fun! If you have anything funny to share, you're in the right place. Just type it and hit the post button. It's that simple.
Since I don't want to bore you guys with a single 'not that funny' event, I'll pass.

[Keto]

Wife: "Why you spend so much money on drinking?"
Husband: "Why you spend so much money on make-up?"
Wife: "So, I could be beautiful for you"
Husband: "I'm drinking so you could be beautiful for me"

Wife just got out of the beauty saloon.
Her husband is waiting for her in the car.
She opens the door, enters the car and husband says: "Well, at least you tried"

[Carson Michaels]

Okay, so this is a true story.

I can be kind of a prankster to my friends. Some may call me a dick, others may call me hilarious, but it's all up to the person.

Anyway, one of my good friends, Kelso (yes, that is his name) isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the crayon box (if you know what I mean). If you don't know what I mean by that, I mean that he is really, really, really dumb. Also very gullible; I once told him gullible was written on the ceiling while we were outside (true story for another time. I am not making this up). Because we are both from Texas, we have certain... behaviors that we learn when we are younger and try to suppress as we get older. At least, most of us. Kelso was in that group of people who cannot seem to suppress his behavior. He can be very intolerant of a lot of people based on race and religion, most prominently the latter, but deep down he doesn't mean it, he just thinks its funny.

So this Kelso story comes from my senior year of high school in the second semester. Graduation was just around the corner, around 2 months away, and I was on my school's band trip to Corpus Christi (near the coast). On said trip, I took one of the freshmen in my section's phone (I was section leader, so everyone had to listen to me). I then texted Kelso as "Brother Jacobson" of the Mormon Church. Most people would figure out that someone was messing with them, but not Kelso. He thought this was for real.

A little background on the Mormon Church, or the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints, for those who don't know. They are a fairly new sect of Christianity founded by Joseph Smith in the 1830s. They believed Jesus was actually an American and that New Zion was actually in the United States, etc. They have their holy text, the Book of Mormon, and were, and sort of are still, heavily persecuted for their beliefs.

Back to the story. Kelso completely bought this. He fully believed that I was Brother Jacobson. So the joke went on for the rest of the long bus ride, and I let it be for a while. During the bus ride, I requested a Book of Mormon be delivered to his house, thinking that they'd mail it to him and he'd freak out.

About a week after the trip, I was back at school, and Kelso runs up to me before Economics class (which he sat behind me during). He started stammering and freaking out about Mormons coming to his house and giving him a Book of Mormon and them trying to convert him and blah blah blah. Kelso is a devout Methodist and pretty sheltered, so this was really new to him. I decided to continue the joke after that.

Two weeks went by as I texted him from a fake texting app as Brother Jacobson. I sent Mormons to his house again (you can do this through their website) for an "official visit". I told him he was officially inducted into the Mormon Church and told a few people I was friends and one teacher with about the joke, which they got in on. Neil, one of my friends who has math class with Kelso, was in before the bell talking to a few of his friends when Kelso walked in and sat down. He then loudly said "I heard Kelso converted to the Mormon church," turned around and looked Kelso straight in the eyes and said, "Congratulations, Brother Kelso!"

Kelso didn't like this, and, in response, slammed his hands down on the desk, loudly proclaimed "I AM NOT A MORMON!" and stormed out before walking back in two minutes later for class, pissed off.

So this kind of thing went on for a while. Kelso almost caught me once when he looked over my shoulder at the app, which I told him was an alternate color scheme for my phone, sent him a couple funny pictures on my actual texting number, then texted him a few minutes later as the Mormon, prompting him to tap on my shoulder in a panic saying "The Mormons are texting me, what do I do?!"

This joke went on through the school year, past graduation, and into the summer. He still hadn't figured it out. Finally, the week before I left for school I texted Kelso as the Mormon saying "It has come to our attention that you don't want to be a Mormon." To which he replied, "DAMN RIGHT!"

I told him that the only way to get out of the Church would be to be a raging homosexual, which he refuted saying he wasn't gay. I then invited him to a Mormon meeting, which he replied with a long string of curse words. I reminded him again that the only way out was to be gay. This made him finally cave and sent the magic text saying "I'm gay." I took a screenshot of this, and sent him back "You have been excommunicated from the Mormon church. Have fun in Hell." To which he replied, "NO, YOU HAVE FUN IN HELL!"

I had my laughs, then sent the screenshot to the twenty or so people in on the joke. I told him it was me the entire time that October. We're still friends to this day.

[Keto]

Two scientists walked into a bar.
First one says: "I WANT H20"
Second one says "I WANT H20 TOO"
He died

[Dylan Tryster]

We were in our school's assembly discussing on the topic 'etiquette.' A junior student was called out to explain. The girl stepped out and said, 'Etiquette is the ticket we buy so that we can travel through the air.'

A building contractor was at a meeting with man. The contractor was about to receive a contract when his wife called.
Wife: Honey, you need to come home this instant.
Husband: Sweetheart, I'm about to receive a contract.
Wife: I'm begging you. Please come home. Something has happened.
Husband: Sweetheart, let me finish this meeting first.

After few seconds with no reply from his wife, the contractor said, 'OK, I'm on my way.' He then rushed home, only to find his wife holding a mop stick.
Husband: Darling, why did you call me?
Wife: I called you home to tell you that I have found the rat that has been disturbing us for years. I just couldn't kill it.
Husband: Ah, darling why have you done this to me? I was about to receive the contract that we have been been praying for. Now, we're poor again...

[Keto]

Dad, how many zeros does a million have?
-It has six zeros
And half a million?
-Idk, I guess three

[Jason Sylvester]

Sometimes, there is no excuse.

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